I recommend the cabbage roll

Miss Four Eyes

For my friend Tiger’s birthday we went to a fancy-shmancy restaurant where we got dressed up in little clothes and sipped cosmopolitans with our pinkies in the air. We also got to say Salaads. Emphasis on the ad part not the sa.

I even ate a Nappa Cabbage roll despite the fact that it looked like this:

I tried to cut it in half delicately like the poised and graceful lady that I am, but it just wouldn’t cut! So then I tried to bite it, but it wouldn’t break off and started dripping down my chin. My friend started laughing, so I put the whole thing my mouth before anyone else noticed. Bad idea! I could barely chew it. And the worst part is, it tasted like cabbage. But Four Eyes, you’re saying, you said that it was a Nappa Cabbage roll. Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it should…

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